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| 09302004 | |
| Overachieving! Assembled 150 books last night with another 50 to do tonight, or so. OK! If you are in the DC area this weekend, come see me at SPX!!! I am at table W-30, very kindly donated by Mr. Adam Suerte (I will be selling his books too). It will be a blasty bliggity blast and you will have a jolly time, I promise. See you there! YES YOU. |
| I am black as night with Xerox toner, many dollars in the Kinko's hole (actually I copy at Staples 'cause it's only a nickel per) and am going to have binder's wrist before the night is through, but by tomorrow morning I'll be swimming in minicomics ready to be parceled out to the willing consumers of said consumables this weekend. The current plan calls for a load of nearly 150 books at cover prices between 25 cents and 5 dollars, plus some CDs, DVDs and other merchandise. Take it off my hands! My bloody hands! |
| Continual scramble and such, something telling me it's going to go a little light on sleep until next Monday, but things are getting accomplished - the Dragonguyver CDs are going out in a steady flow and we should be reaching the profit point soon so I can cut a check to the man himself, I'm assembling a carton of minis for SPX but still need to check up on my potential table, have a murder to commit tonight (got some new information and am going to put it to good use), et cetera. No sleep for the wicked, and I'm coming this way. What? |
| O dogg, lots to do this week - heading dow to DC for SPX this weekend, so have to engage in the usual frenzy of Xeroxing and staple-mania, compounded by the fact that my calendar is already pretty full this week - I smell some greasy midnight oil being burned (no, not the bald Australian band, although...) - if you're in the seat of our nation-area, come see me! We can shake hands like men, not fight like beasts. |
| If this is Sunday, I must be writing about Saturday - went out to see Nathan Brown at Siberia with Neil, Reine and Jude - good night, plenty of beers (yes, violating my one-beer queer rule, but I didn't buy any of them so I think it's just a yellow flag), discovery of a co-op trackball Ms. Pac-Man machine, and then of course Mr. Brown's astonishing mix of falsetto Prince songs and self-created cheerleading routines. Stumbled home to bed, crunked and happy. A good weekend. Sunday? I rested and drew. |
| Went to five mediocre to atrocious short plays and one decent short play with some kids last night at the Gershwin Hotel - can think of worse ways to spend an evening, and it was redeemed by a truly fantastic NYC weirdo moment - stopping to get pizza at Pinch, the counterman was one of the most implausibly cheerful dudes I've ever seen in my life - doing little dances, polishing his counter, UNSTOPPABLE BANTERING, it was extremely awkward as we stood there waiting for the pizza to get done under the magnificent radiance of this true power maniac. And then there was an open bar so everything was OK. |
| The new game of Killer finally started - I've locked my first target and have a pretty good idea of how to nail him, hopefully should happen by Monday. I am packing heat wherever I go - not going to get punked out quite so easily this time - there's going to be a lot more water thrown around, I'll say that much. I think I nagged some of you to play this time - I hope you did. Gentlemen (and ladies) - to murder! |
| In negative news, a guy had to put his finger up my butt yesterday, but in positive news I don't have appendicitis so it all balances out. Stayed home today to go to the doctor and get a diagnostic on my (already much better) stomach, and then took the rest of the day to finish a painting and recuperate. Ate my traditional comfort food (bowl of Campbell's Tomato Rice soup and a Portugese roll), drank a bunch of apple juice and hit the sack early reading comics and trying to decompress. I think I'm going to start meditating again, stress is massacring me. |
| Yo, I've got a crippler of a stomachache, which is strange since I've been eating healthful and sticking to Johnny One-Beer, but who knows when my intestinal flora will decide to rebel. Maybe I ate a handful of thumbtacks in my sleep or something. Update: it's now 3:30 in the afternoon and thumbtacks have been upgraded to pocketknives. I took a Gas-X and drank some ginger root dissolved in hot water, I'm burping up huge clouds of stomach-stink fetor, but the pain ain't going anywhere. I hope I can soldier through practice tonight - if this keeps up, I may take tomorrow off and spend it recuperating. I don't think anybody would complain. |
| I am not quite sure that I know really who I am at all very much. |
| Zach Freyer beat a guy to death on the steps of a church. In other news, I'm back at work with a to-do list as long as a table leg, but thankfully it's getting hashed out with alacrity and spiggity speed so I'm not panicking (much). Forgot my padlock this morning so couldn't go to the gym, my left knee is weirdly all scraped up and painful (unknown how exactly) and I had some really great Thai food yesterday. My life is composed of marbles held together by rubber cement. |
| I think I'm going to lay off the drinking at least until SPX in October, just to see. I've come to realize that I have a pretty serious problem controlling my alkeyhol intake after the first two drinks or so - I feel perfectly charming on my first or second but post-that (especially when drinking hard liquor) I'm blacking out and eating fried chicken and generally failing to be a decent human being and instead being a monstruo, slouching and retching. So: one drink, per night, period, maximum. It's not like I've been drinking more than once a week anyways, but when I do it's like a light switch - I'm not presently able to walk the line (and it's a thin one). Many of my attitudes and behaviors are disgusting me lately. I am backsliding. I am not happy. |
| Hurricane trickledowns are just fucking up the city something serious - trains are all delayed into infinity and not running and it took me nearly two hours to get to the PO box to get my mail this afternoon. Yes, it's petty to complain about this when people are getting their shingles ripped off und impaled into their faces in Florida but what can I do? I am a petty urbanite and inconvenience makes me pouty. |
| Incredibly irritating - I have a credit card. I put things on it sometimes and then pay it off to keep my credit record active and healthy, because I've heard that's good for your credit rating. I pay my bill on the Internet every month, clean and clear. Unfortunately, because they fucked up their online payment system, it's been fucking up my bank account number, and (little did I know) my payments have been bouncing. So now I'm $100 out the hole in bounced payment fees, my account's all ratcheted up and I'm in a seriously bad mood. Fuck you, money. Root of all evil indeed. |
| I am entertaining a sick fascination with seeing "The Brown Bunny" tonight, somebody please hit me in the face with a table leg and shut me up. Also I am compiling a few hilarious pranks to share with you soon, and also I am hideously busy today. |
| I blew some of it on comic books and booze. And sushi. I'm trying to eat fish three times a week because I've noticed my diet kind of slip-sliding around lately, what with the General Tso assailing my stomach area more often than is proper. So - more fish. I eat fine at work - my breakfasts and lunches are fruits and greens and other assorted health-bombs, but when I get me home, watch out. All bets are off. I don't get wasted drunk during the day either. Perhaps I am some sort of werewolf who craves fatty foods instead of the blood of the living? Does such a thing exist? |
| Hey, tomorrow's payday and I sorely need it - getting down to the proverbial wire what with initial expenses on the Dragonguyver CDs sucking up a lot of my petty cash not taken by traveling & assorted vacationary expenses. So, at midnight tonight, another paycheck can hopefully stabilize the checkbook and get me set on a more logical spending path. Or I may just blow it all on comic books and booze. Who can tell? |
| I seriously just shit my pants at work, this is unbelievable. |
| Recovery day - woke up late, roused Owens off my couch, went to get the million-things I needed to get done done. A pretty quiet day - tried to spend at least a little of it outside as the weather was beyond lovely but the sun assaulted my poor drink-drained eyes so a good portion was spent huddled in air-conditioning. But - catching up on things left behind, at least, and hopefully by next weekend I'll be at 100% functionality again, to repeat. |
| 9/11 NEVER FORGET YOU CAN'T FIGHT THE MOONLIGHT!!!!!! In celebration of us winning back all of our freedom from the people who hate freedom so much, went out to Jersey with the UGO boys for some grill'd foodstuffs and bonding time, then out to get soused with Eran and RSO at Bellevue, which quickly degenerated into Wrong Nigga Tonighting and general abuse of the other patrons. Spilled out on the sidewalk, I ended up taking a header into the middle of the street, and we staggered to our respective homes where I ate cornbread and resigned myself to nonexistence. |
| Lyin' in bed thinkin' last night as the wind whipped through my gradually-cleaner room - trying to figure out exactly why I'm so often scared of extending myself, emotionally, to people. I think because I spent so much time essentially friendless, bouncing between schools and always feeling separated and not part of the crowd with people (whether it be out of shame from being poor, awkwardnness from being smart, or what have you), that when I finally made friends I was always on eggshells with them, always acquiescing to their needs as much as possible for fear that I'd be left alone again. When I'm alone, completely isolated, I tend to lose it - witness me after A. and I broke up, locked away in that studio apartment, jobless, getting fat and sweaty and decaying. Who knows what would have happened if I hadn't left town then, if circumstances hadn't conspired to kick me out of that? Shit. So I'm constantly being pulled between these two poles - the solitary, self-sustaining (but crazy) life and the needy, public, attention-whoring life. But when I'm externalizing, I keep it on an incredibly surface level, because I'm always on guard for that rejection that'll somehow prove to me that I don't belong, that I should just give up, lock myself in and quit. So I constantly try to prove that I belong, that I'm worthwhile, that I'm interesting and funny, and it kind of totally fucking sucks. It works in stupid situations (TV, drunk, flirting) but when I actually have to interact on a more traditional non-performative way I bungle it as often as not. Argh. Being confronted with your own falsity really fucking blows, I recommend you avoid it. |
| Managed to make it back in one piece - reports of subway stupidity seemed a little exaggerated and it didn't take long for me to haul my luggage home to mildly trashed room. Put it right with the aid of a little General Tso's chicken and the Manu Dibango record, took a long hot shower, shaved my beard-o clean off and donned my lonesome pajamas straight to bed, where I stayed for ten wonderful hours. Now I have a million things to do, as usual. |
| Worst flight ever - delayed two hours in Vegas 'cause redeye drunks just had to act up and get booted off, and then some sort of nonsense with the pressurization system. So, epic flight, then epic train ride to the office as it seems like the subways are grotesquely flooded. I am not looking forward to angling my way home, as it's still raining and I have an armload of luggage to transport. The new bass is probably staying at work just to reduce the amount of aggravation I have to deal with. Welcome home, homes. |
| Last day in Seattle, woke up early to take pictures of the new Rem Koolhaus-designed Central Library for the roommate, and was pretty overwhelmed by how great it is. The library it replaced was a square dullbox musty with neglected collections and usually used as a sleep-spot for Seattle's mammoth homeless population - the new guy's a glassy, open, tall! structure with a ton of neat little auditoriums and hidden rooms and the stacks are in this huge spiral around the outside - it's great. Snapped a half a roll, went to Southcenter to buy my mom a new stereo, and then off to the airport for the long slog home. |
| Hung out with my sister's side of the family today - my incredibladorable neices are getting older - Riley's almost school-aged - and, like kids tend to, they're starting to show traces of personality besides just "undifferentiated blonde need-mass." They're becoming people, and it's funny and strange for me to watch. I've never been all that close as an adult to people raising young children, and I'm ignorant of the way this stuff happens most of the time. So it's fascinating. Whether to have kids has been a constant waffle in my life so far - I'm nowhere near the level of stability I'd need to be a father at this stage, and I'm not sure if my genetic information really deserves to be passed down another generation. If I were to have a kid, I'd probably adopt. And yes, this is all fantastical long-term thinking. I kind of don't have a point that I'm getting at here, I hope you don't mind. |
| Rocking a pretty serious hangover, mitigated slightly by some forward-thinking water drinking the night before, I walked down to the alumnoid picnic, which was, to be charitable, sparsely attended. On the way, I bought a half-flat of delicious Washington blackberries, which are hard to find out East, and snacked on them during the three-mile walk. A beautiful day, lots of fresh-mown grass smells, and I briefly entertained the idea of moving back, getting a little house somewhere, settling myself down a bit. And then I disabused myself the hell out of that idea 'cause it's dumb. |
| So that there, that was my 10 year high school reunion. A little disappointing - no astounding obesities or utter collapses revealed unto me, and in fact some of the biggest burnouts and fuckups actually grew up to a level of economic functionality that far outstrips mine. A lot of lawyers present, oddly. Went pretty smoothly, despite my total plasteration - I'm willing to bet most other attendees were equally wrecked so we all seemed on a par. Stayed out 'til about 4AM shooting the shit with the lost and forgotten, got a wallet fulla business cards and went on my way. I guess if I learned a lesson from it - ah, shit, i didn't learn anything. Just like high school itself. |
| When I lived in Seattle I was only old enough to go out and drink for about a month legally. had a fake ID for a while in my late teens but it got conflascated pretty quickly and I didn't have the ducats to replace it. And since Seattle's kid-laws have been famously draconian, I didn't do a lot of goin' out - certainly not as much as I would have liked. So, tonight, to some new club by the old house to see IQU - struck by weird cross-continent doppelgangers in the mix. Hey, there's a guy who looks like Friggle! Weird, there's the west-coast A! It was quite the strange one, especially feeling like a total fish out of water, miles from home, when 8 years ago everybody knew who I was in this town and I'd get stopped on the street. Humbling, but I need a lot more of that if I'm going to get anywhere. Oh, yeah, the show was great and you should buy their new album. |
| Up early, still on East Coast time. Got my new bass today and it's basically the bas sof my dreams so I'm happy. Oh! PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT! If you live in NYC you are basically commanded to play Killer with me: sign up here. The last game was amazingly fun, despite my early elimination, and this next go should be even better. Get on the stick with this, people. If you're lucky, maybe we'll be enemies. |
| Stayed up at the office all night, printing out pages of REBE and taking care of some other business - since my plane leaves from JFK so early, early early, I decided to just crank on, sleep on the jetmobile and get it done with. Of course, best laid plans, and I end up seated next to obese dago oozing into my personal space, on his way to Vegas, drinking no less than four Jack Daniels & cranberry juice cocktails (ugh!) and spreading his mess all over. Finally, back to Seattle, fell asleep instantly. Goodnight. |
AUGUST
all content (c) 2004 k. thor jensen
