POSTS FROM THE "MISSED CONNECTIONS" BOARDS OF NEWYORK.CRAIGSLIST.ORG 1/27/2003.
A message to the COMMANDER OF THE WILLIAMSBRUG (sic) ARMY
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Reply to: anon-8243805@craigslist.org
Date: Mon Jan 27 11:49:15 2003
Dear clown,
It's one thing to try to dress like a trendsetter (no one does in *gag* "Billyburg," they all copy each other), but it's quite another thing to appoint oneıs self as head Caucasoid moron. Are you the spokesperson for a regional generation of imbeciles?
You sure put a lot of effort into cultivating your rich manıs poor look, what with the expensive, ironic t-shirts, silly 'Members Only' jackets (the irony only deepens with the brand name) and deliberately disheveled, product-filled hair.
Ugly eighties leather jacket: $150.
Butt-crack showing, low-slung jeans: $85.
Trying too hard to look droopy and careless: Priceless.
Waiting for the L train at Bedford, I feel the familiar taste of vomit gurgling at the back of my teeth, as the army of trust-fund fops sporting the latest fashion feaux-pas empties off the train like a hundred-headed centipede. I call it ³The March of the Hipsters.²
I hate yuppies, too, but you're no different from that other group of blind conformists.
Are any of you hipstersı even FROM Brooklyn?
Didnıt think so.
Keeping it real,
- Knights of the Unironic Opposition
PS: All you former nerds fronting cool can Electroclash THIS.
commanders of the army of one
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Reply to: anon-8245607@craigslist.org
Date: Mon Jan 27 11:08:48 2003
"Are any of you "hipsters" even FROM Brooklyn?"
- being old-school is so 1999.
A message FROM the COMMANDER of the WMSBRG ARMY
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Reply to: anon-8245799@craigslist.org
Date: Mon Jan 27 11:17:43 2003
Oh, so trenchant in your anti-hipster rhetoric! Oh, such points you make at the expense of our clothing, our music, our "lifestyle!" You are so correct, the way we look and act is so inappropriate! Our fashion so absurd compared to the stylistic daring of Hasids in payess or Puerto Ricans in puffy jackets. We should just go back to wherever we come from and leave the nabe to you ORIGINAL gangstas, whatever your scene be bein'.
I can just see you, up in the Bronx in '81 or so: "YOU B-BOYS! YOU'RE NOT LEGIT! YOU SHOULD JUST QUIT! HOW MANY OF YOU ARE FROM THE BRONX, REALLY?" If you're not an old Italian man sitting on his stoop on Lorimer before training some racing pigeons, you've got no room to talk, jukebox hero.
Your authenticity is a waste of my time. I've got preening to do. Go back to your nutter butter basket bitches and cram it with walnuts, short-stack.
re: "march of the hipsters" person
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Reply to: anon-8247871@craigslist.org
Date: Mon Jan 27 12:08:03 2003
To the whiny jerk who wrote that:
I don't live in Williamsburg, nor do I really have any friends who do (used to, but they've since moved for various reasons). I go there sometimes when there's something specific to do. i don't care so much about defending the kids you're talking about as I do trying to make you feel like a jerk for being so mean and dumb. I'm just a normal 23 year old who lives in a tiny apt. in Manhattan with a job and a boyfriend and a medium-sized medium-cost wardrobe who hangs out at medium cool places and has a small but cool group of friends. I don't know if you saw me on the street if you would think i am one of those reviled williamsburg kids of whom you speak, and I don't care so much--- people like you who are so vocal about despising large groups of people indiscriminately are just begging to be ignored and laughed at. I also don't know what you look like or what your situation is. but I dunno, i just think it' s pretty retarded that you get so angry about things like a few kids you see on the subway with baggy pants or leather jackets or whatever. I'm sure these people have never beaten you up or taken your money or sold you into slavery or even called you mean names. Haven't you ever been part of a "group," or wanted to feel like you were part of some sort of community? it seems to me (tho I don't live in bklyn, but I imagine it's similar to the LES where i used to live) that kids that age sort of like feeling like there's a communal spirit in terms of music, clothing, neighborhood, whatever. so what if it's outwardly apparent that they want to "belong" by wearing similar fashions? you can look exactly the same whether you spend $2 on vintage or $250 at Barney's but don't assume that all of these kids have tons of money. they don't. like, i used to date this one williamsburg kid who didn't even have enough money to buy rice at one point. clearly this is not always the case but you see what I mean. i just wanted to say that it's such a waste of time to hate people....and why...because they all wear the same sort of clothes?
so, you're a jerk. try hating people for a REAL reason and you'll wind up with far fewer enemies.
its time for war, young lords, raise your swords!
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Reply to: anon-8248190@craigslist.org
Date: Mon Jan 27 12:19:19 2003
to the commander of the willy b. army and his thousand body doubles:
as a native it is my duty and my priviledge to wait until we are alone on the train and to vamp you of your clarks/spike belt/army hat/leather whatever and to have you medi-vacked back to where you come from. you better hope this is a missed connection.
More Hipster Hate
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Reply to: anon-8248293@craigslist.org
Date: Mon Jan 27 12:21:56 2003
YUCK! All this damn MANUFACTURED INDIVIDUALITY --- The painstakingly styled disarray in hair and dress...the baffling pride displayed for living in a neighborhood without middle-income families (oh the horror!). Hipsters have bled authenticity dry! I have to laugh every time my hipster friends sneer at my corporate job and dental plan. Out of politeness I donıt yell back that itıs more SHAMEFUL to pose as an artist/musician/poet when thereıs an obvious LACK of talent. (want real comedy? go down to Williamsburg and watch the hipsters cringe through the acts of their friends and then force themselves to say ³that was core, man²)
In cultivating the look of authenticity, you all have corrupted its spirit. You kids in the vintage tees and hip-slung jeans how are you different from your parents who coveted the polo shirts and the preppy gear? Face it, all this production is only to appear cool to your peers. Different look, same motivation, Yuck.
to the commander of the starship dork!
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Reply to: anon-8248850@craigslist.org
Date: Mon Jan 27 12:39:44 2003
i must inform you that you are a follower...and i must tell you the real trendsetters in willy were doing what u dorks r doing--
8 yrs ago...you dummies don't even know the spots to get your thrifty clothes or party...you should let it go...i for one have lived here 10+ yrs and find you guys so lame and boring. and as for the b-boys...they have more flavor and style than you could ever "copy". and the previous poster never said you acted or dressed inappropriate..i know this bothers you---u try so hard to be inappropriate---but you must know that high school is over and you cannot go back in time and correct your "un coolness" you were always one step behind and will forever remain...clueless!!! face it you're not what's hot---and nobody's bothered.....williamsburg belongs to the old timer's and it's just a matter of time...
and as for old italian man from lorimer---get your story straight dork boy---lorimer was german in those days---as was bushwick--and as for your slights about puerto ricans in puffy jackets....that's why almost every fri/sat night i see a dork like you getting pounded by one of those hotties in a puffy...b/c you GOT a BIG MOuth! shut up before you get another wedgie or perhaps get your head dunked in the toilet again...remember those days??
march commanders and followers etc...
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Reply to: anon-8249374@craigslist.org
Date: Mon Jan 27 12:54:06 2003
the problem with these hipster kids is not that they all wear the same clothes under the guise of uniqueness (all they really want is some fashion accesory that no one else has, but they dont have the guts or imagination to work outside the extremely narrow confines) or the stupid namedropper conversations that make truly interesting and unique people want to scream. its their manner of staring at people on the train or at he corner of bedford & n7th, begging to be noticed! just look at missed connections: filled to the brim with people who bought the outfits alright because theyve seen the same thing day in and out, but without the intellegence or guts to kick it to someone they find attractive. they must say to themselves, "if i carry myself like i am holier than thou, girls will think i am special." but what makes a person aspire to arrogance and condescension, and to find it attractive in the first place?
its almost impossible to ride the l train without one of these kids pleading with his eyes for us to notice his special shoes with a little check that perfectly matches his hat or the tip of the match stick hanging from his mouth, very clever. the cool is way too studied to be effective. you look like a doofus!
so if you dont want any trouble, hipster boys and girls, keep your eyes to yourselves and stop staring and robbing our energy on the train and wherever else you come in contatc with the real world. write a poem. sing a song. make a video. make a funny face. put yourself out there and we'll be happy to decide your worth. but stop begging for scraps when you have nothing to offer.
the l train is a swell train, don't you haters complain - but that commander guy is still pathetic, obviously
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Reply to: anon-8249511@craigslist.org
Date: Mon Jan 27 13:16:54 2003
in summary:
haters: insecure
hipsters: also insecure
living in williamsburg: still nice (if overpriced)
not "really" being from brooklyn: who cares
now let's get back to the woman caught masturbating type shit
there are more important things...
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Reply to: anon-8249605@craigslist.org
Date: Mon Jan 27 13:01:46 2003
...than who's wearing what and who used to be dork and who still is and who is hotter on which train or whatever the fuck. our president is giving money back to his rich buddies while flushing the nation's economy down the toilet, is about to start a war or two that no one outside this country is supporting and another terrorist attack is probably on the way. so stop the bullshit and send some food to kids in somalia or something and get over yourselves
who cares?
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Reply to: anon-8250124@craigslist.org
Date: Mon Jan 27 13:17:33 2003
why can't all y'all just be yourselves????
be confident in that !
and let everyone else be themselves!
why does this have to be a battle?
just because it ain't for you, doesn't mean it's wrong or lame.
it is silly.
just walk away man, walk away.
ugh, this is topic is getting so boring
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Reply to: anon-8250492@craigslist.org
Date: Mon Jan 27 13:47:08 2003
i responded to that kid who started this "anti-hipster" tirade and got this really nasty old email in response, surprise surprise, telling me that I didn't know squat about Williamsburg and oh god a fate worse than death that a few 22 year old kids in designer jeans milling around his neighborhood were screwing up his whole life just by the fact of their mere existence
ugh. the people who write long boring things about how long they've lived in williamsburg and thus try to one-up those people who are complaining about the new hipsters...thus creating a never ending cycle of hatred...you're probably the lamest ones so far in this debate. just because you lived there for "10+ years" or 70 years, or since birth, whatever, doesn't make you more entitled to live there. i suppose if this had been 150 yrs. ago you would be telling all us blacks to go back to Africa because you had been living in the colonies "way longer." I don't know. shut up already.
First it was.....
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Reply to: anon-8250856@craigslist.org
Date: Mon Jan 27 13:39:43 2003
The poor against the rich!
Then it was the hawks against the doves!
Then it was the jocks against the preppies, art fags, dorks, nerds, and everyone else!
Then it was the trendy emo rockers/low fi rocker elitists against the yuppies!
Soon it will be the United States against Iraq, South Korea, and the Islamic world!
Can't we all see through the illusions of Maya and just get along and love one another!
Live and let live!
i dont give a fuck about hipsters or iraq
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Reply to: anon-8251394@craigslist.org
Date: Mon Jan 27 13:56:02 2003
you hipsters used to anoy me but now i dont care
i just think some of the things you do are are lame
like the guy playing the banjo on the bedford L stop
or the other guy knitting on the train, knitting come on.
i have a 2 bedroom apartment on graham ave and lorimer and i pay $1070.00 and i still think its overpriced, williamsburg is one ugly nieghborhood
and iraq, fuck em i only say this becouse of all the bullshit propaganda i see in the subway, bush is a nazi, no war in iraq, most of the people who put up this new age graffiti didnt even vote. bush is a moron but do you think al gore would be any better? bieng anti bush is just the new trendy thing to do.america has been kicking other countries asses since teddy roosevelt was president and hes a freakin hero. is invadeing iraq and installing a pro U.S govt any different from slicing off a piece of centrall america and calling it panama?
so hipsters keep on anoying in the free world.
quick, get back to focusing on Weighty Global Issues!
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Reply to: anon-8251776@craigslist.org
Date: Mon Jan 27 14:09:15 2003
Hi,
A lot of you (or a few of you) have written about how, comparatively, the williamsburg vs. park slope, L vs. F, debate is not important. Compared to, that is, the very real threats of war, famine, AIDS, and the like. Point taken. I mean, there really is no arguing with you: L train debate
But c'mon. I mean, you have to be kidding if you think that any talk about any topic other than the most dire of subjects should be allowed. It's called fun, and human beings need it. Do you feel guilty every time you say hi to a friend, or make a joke, or order take-out, or write a flirtatious email to someone from Craig's List? Geez, I hope not. And I say this as a girl who drove from Chicago to Washington DC to protest Bush's inauguration, and led feminist groups during school, etc etc. But I think you can do those things and still be a relaxed, happy person. It's fun to shoot the shit about whose train line is better. I think what you really want to be saying is "This conversation is boring," not "this conversation is morally reprehensible." Chill.
(And the F beats the L any day)...
WHY DONT YOU ARGUE ON THE FORUMS
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Reply to: anon-8252184@craigslist.org
Date: Mon Jan 27 14:29:51 2003
Seriously folks, this is out of control - arguments about hipsters and subway lines are perfect for the New York CL Open Forum.
And if you're the Asian girl in black I made eye contact with this morning, email me - it was on John Street. Weve checked each other out before.
Exchange of energy, this morning, L train
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Reply to: anon-8252521@craigslist.org
Date: Mon Jan 27 14:51:50 2003
Me - Commander of the Williamsburg Army, mussy, dressy, messy but not Stussy, label cut off of my Manhattan Portage bag for shame, new labels sewn on my other stuff. Pants so low on my hips you can see my pubic Mohawk dyed pink and my Def Lep tattoo. On my way to my "job thing" but really I play in a band or something, you know how it goes. Keyboards. You: Totally ethnic Brooklynite keeping it real, like hella real. You've lived here your whole life and know what's up and stuff. I was making a lot of eye contact so I could rob you of your authentic creative energy. I have already appropriated cultural and artistic trends from many African-Americans and homosexuals. Is it just me or did we have "something"? Let's go for coffee and you can put my face into the toilet. Please be into Chicks On Speed.
THE WILLIAMSBURG ARMY
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Reply to: anon-8260833@craigslist.org
Date: Mon Jan 27 20:10:16 2003
THE ONLY ARMY FUNDED ENTIRELY BY MOMMY AND DADDY'S CONNETICUT BANK ACCOUNT.