September

2006

43: Relative Elasticity

Another trip to the doctor, another sad diagnosis for poor Amber, as her body’s essential connective tissues seem to be growing together and encasing her in a cocoon of horror.

ash_143: hey amber care to chat with a cute little guy of 22 from san fran
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Of course!
ash_143: woo u really in 8th …
ash_143: u dont look to be ….look much more sexier 😡
ash_143: tell me more about urself u have any bf’s ..what do u like to do for fun
ash_143: etc etc
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I don’t have a boyfriend right now.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I am sorry, I type very slowly due to a medical condition.
ash_143: oops! …i wish then i was there ..with u ..u could have just whispered in my ears
ash_143: and i would have listened to u for hrs …together …b/w what happeend
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yes!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I have a progressive disorder that alters the relative elasticity of my tissues.
ash_143: woooooo normal english please lolll
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I’m sorry
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I talk to so many doctors that it kind of rubs off on me.
ash_143: ooo poor u i can imagine …
ash_143: but can u goo out even or u have to be at home
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Most people aren’t crazy about looking at me.
ash_143: heyyy dont sayy like that ..or else i’ll take my car n come to u rite away
ash_143: though it might take me a little while to get to u 🙂
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I would love that although you might have to put a plastic cover on your seat.
ash_143: mmm then i guess i will have to put on plastic cover on myself too coz i’ll make u site on me
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You might not enjoy that. You are really, sweet but I am concerned that your mouth is writing checks your stomach may not be able to cash without barfing.
ash_143: lollllllllll
ash_143: soo which school u go to
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Stop LOLing! You are laughing at a sick person!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: That is gross and mean and I am one step away from putting you on ignore
ash_143: aeyyy plzzz i didnt mean it that wayy yaa
ash_143: i was just laughing at my own self sweety
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: What is so funny about you?
ash_143: i cant explain it here what i was thinking about myself when u said ..all that stuff ….i guess i was taken to a time
ash_143: when i had jaundice last summer
ash_143: when for 3 mnths i couldnt even go out
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Jaundice? That’s when you get yellow like a Chinese lady, right?
ash_143: yaa
ash_143: and get a hold of this ..
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Okay!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Although I may not be able to hold it very well due to my condition.
ash_143: when eventually i did go out to college
ash_143: the girl i was bonkers over for like 5 mnths
ash_143: saw me in that state
ash_143: and the first look from her mouth was ough!!!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: She was disgusted?
ash_143: and that was it …for me going out in jaundice again
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So what did you do?
ash_143: naa i went to india for a mnht
ash_143: mnth i mean i guess i got it from there or something
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I get it!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: My disease is genetic and there’s no getting rid of it.
ash_143: ouchh …but tell me more about ur sickness soo what happens ..like
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: It’s a spongiform tissue disorder.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Basically the elasticity and adhesion of my skin and tissue becomes wildly inconsistent.
ash_143: hmmm …soo the tissues become too soft or something
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And too sticky
ash_143: and the after effects
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Total degradation.
ash_143: total degradation meaning the tissues die kinda
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yes, but not until they adhere with nearby objects and tissues.
ash_143: ooo i c ..soo u just have to be careful then i guess not to sit on something hard
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Are you being subtly dirty?
ash_143: noooo oo no plzzz
ash_143: gosh i take my words back didnt mean anything dirty to it yaa
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I thought you were
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: It has been so long since a boy has talked sexy to me…
ash_143: but now actually when u do say it and my light bulb is on i’m just laughing harddd
ash_143: awwwwwwww poor baby i really wish then i was there
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Please stop laughing.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: It hurts so much.
ash_143: heyyyyyyyy sweetyyy i’m just laughing for u to feel good with me
ash_143: now i dont care what u feel
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You are laughing at me!
ash_143: i dont care how bad u feel i’ll make u laugh with me
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You don’t care about me????
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You are very cruel!
ash_143: and make u have fun soo u feellllllll good
ash_143: very very good
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I am a sick girl who is going to die without ever being kissed by a boy and you are laughing at me?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I hate you!!!!!
ash_143: aeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy plzzz yaa
ash_143: dont be like this …..just cheer up ok i promise u no matter what i’ll see u once
ash_143: before i go back to my home ctry
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You can’t just tell me to “cheer up” after you’ve said such mean things to me!
ash_143: oo plzzz baby i was just trying to make u feel better so u wont think about ur sickness or whatever i guess i didnt do it rite then
ash_143: if u felt bad then i apologize ….
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You didn’t do it right at all
ash_143: i guess i wont bug u in that case …sorry ..
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: No! you seemed very nice until you started laughing at me
ash_143: but i wasnt sweety plzz dont blame me like this
ash_143: now i’m feeling very baddddd
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You should feel bad! You made a sick girl feel awful!
ash_143: i told u exactly y i was laughing when u told me about ur sickness coz of my little sick incident
ash_143: all rite chuck it ..talk something else .
ash_143: soo how come u dont have a bf
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Because of my disease
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I have never kissed a boy
ash_143: dont even telllllllllll meee
ash_143: 🙁
ash_143: never ever
ash_143: ooo poor babby now i really feel like leaving everything n coming to u …(:|
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You don’t want to kiss me.
ash_143: yes i doooooooooooo
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Even if your lips would be entrapped like a grasshopper in a spiderweb by my riot of tissue mass?
ash_143: heyyy looks arent everything okk ..a persons heart is more important …:x
ash_143: u seem soo nice n everything …diseases they come n go but nice persons like urself r hard to find
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But if your mouth is woven to my mouth in a horrific crochet of flesh it won’t be good for your career.
ash_143: aaah thats all rite …if anything i could do would make u feel nice n good ….i would do it with all my heart
ash_143: sooo tell me do u go to school..or doctors have advised u not to
ash_143: dont be quite sweety
ash_143: if u have something to do then i’ll let u go 🙂
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I’m sorry, my hands are growing together
ash_143: oooo my sweetiepie …
ash_143: would u mind if i come to see u baby
ash_143: only if u dont mind
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I cnat typeee verrry wll nymore
ash_143: ooo gosh u take rest sweetyyy
ash_143: and if u ever get time
ash_143: then call me 650-XXX-XXXX
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: My fingers won’t fit into the phone
ash_143: well then wheenver u come online …
ash_143: then i guess i’ll catch yaa
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: They’re all grown together like a carrot.
ash_143: ooo poor girl …and i cant even see u huh
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I am not so visually attractive, I look like a Frosted Mini-Wheat with skin all over it.
ash_143: aeyyy sweetyyy dont say like that ..i told u i dont care about looks at all
ash_143: all i care about is a persons heart
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You say that now but you can’t hug me or kiss me or anything
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I am as toxic as the toxic avenger.
ash_143: and u r soooo sweet n nice n i cant loose on a chance of having a wonderful wonderful gf like u
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I am sweet, but perhaps you’re skimming over the deformed part.
ash_143: aeyyyy ..shhhhhhhhh ..dont talk like that anymore now
ash_143: u know …amber whats the worst thing is
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: My disease?
ash_143: i had this call from my god damn client ..for whom i installed this software like a billion years ago
ash_143: nahi yaa
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r:Do you have skin growing over your mouth too? ‘Cause that didn’t sound so English to me.
ash_143: ooo lolll sorry that was little bit of hindi .(india) language in there
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I’m sorry, I can’t focus on your business too well, my left eyelid has grown into my inner elbow.
ash_143: it just comes out sometimes
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Sure does.
ash_143: u know what i feel rite now
ash_143: forget about everything and just take u away for a looooooooooooooong drive
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: With me melting all over the seats of your car?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: What if one of my psuedopods seeped into the gearshift box?
ash_143: i wouldnt careeeee i would just take u to all those nice places
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But your car would break down! I would be like a barnacle! A worthless, good for nothing barnacle!
ash_143: i still wouldnt care ….i would take u to my fav haunt the coyoye point
ash_143: soo talk to me about what u used to do before u got sick ..
ash_143: what were ur fav. things to do n stuff like that
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I used to enjoy my hands and bodily extremities.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I also liked to pee without using a length of model train track and a twisty straw.
ash_143: brb
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I have to go, my esophagus is closing over.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Gonna be dead soon.