September

2006

42: Frankenboyfriend

This young gentleman from Guam regaled Amber with the language of romance across several conversations, but sadly her father’s madcap science has already supplied her with a man to love. A man made of dead things.

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You will meet a better girl.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And I will meet a boy who isn’t stitched together out of corpse parts.
kylecgiii: hmmmm….yeah
kylecgiii: i see a bright and happy future for you…
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Thank you!
kylecgiii: ‘coz, my impression is that you a fine nice and sweet young lady…honest…pleasing
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You seem to be a very strong, kind boy.
kylecgiii: that’s why i can hardly believe you when you say you don’t have a boyfriend..
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Well, my dad won’t let me date anything but the one he made for me.
kylecgiii: you are so beautiful
kylecgiii: if i may describe it……sooooooo hugableeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Awww!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: When the homunculus tries to hug me he squeezes too tight and he smells like rotting meat.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I wish I had a real boy to hug me.
kylecgiii: he will come… in the right time…don’t worry
kylecgiii: just continue to be a good girl…and
kylecgiii: yeah…concentrate on your studies…
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I wish my dad had never made me this sorry excuse for a boyfriend.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: He is such a bad scientist!
kylecgiii: how i wish we are neighbors…
kylecgiii: ohhhh..your dad is a scientist?
kylecgiii: you like science?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: No, I hate it!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Science only does bad things.
kylecgiii: serious…which area?…. zoollogy….biology…?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: He is a biologist but the scientific community has discredited his theories.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: He is obsessed with meddling in affairs that should be left unmeddled.
kylecgiii: esp..on experiments….gettings answers as to why nature behaves so…
kylecgiii: ohhhhhhhh….. that’s a little bit deep… i can’t comprehend
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: He is trying to reach beyond the veil of death and grab a big sweaty handful of the other world.
kylecgiii: now… you talk like a scientist
kylecgiii: okay.. i love that
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I hate it!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I hate science!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Science has made me married to a decaying shibboleth of mismatched parts. —
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I hate my dad and I hate science!
kylecgiii: you hate your dad?
kylecgiii: that’s bad
kylecgiii: and you never mention about your mom
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Because he is using science for bad things.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: My mom is dead.
kylecgiii: ohhhhhh….am so sorry
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: That’s why my dad is so obsessed with bringing life to corpses, he wants to bring her back.
kylecgiii: so sorry to hear that
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I miss her…
kylecgiii: didn’t your dad remarried?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: He doesn’t want to remarry, he wants my mom back!
kylecgiii: now i see..
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: It is his obsession.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So that’s why he made me the boyfriend, to test his theories.
kylecgiii: how did he made you a boyfriend…i mean how did he arranged for that?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Um first he got a bunch of dead bodies I guess of guys.
kylecgiii: are you serious?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yes! This is his science.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: He is so crazy!
kylecgiii: then?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I don’t know, he does this thing that he invented I think with radiation, he tried to explain it to me but I am not very smart. —
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You sound so awesome.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I wish my decaying boyfriend was more like you!
kylecgiii: i am young to be a scientist… but, i love science
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I hate science!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: It has made my life so shitty!
kylecgiii: ohhhhhhhhh
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I wish he’d stop with his insane quest to bring my mom back to life!
kylecgiii: he must be so in love with your mom, huh?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I wish I lived in Guam and didn’t ever have to hear the word science ever again.
kylecgiii: how i wish i can get you out of there
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I wish you could too!
kylecgiii: but, you don’t want to meet with me.. when i go to san diego
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I do want to meet with you!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But I may not be able to…
kylecgiii: try….!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: My dad is so crazy and protective.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Not to mention my shambling creature of a boyfriend.
kylecgiii: you can play in the soccer field… soccer is my sports
kylecgiii: the beaches there is good for surfing…. i love surfing and diving
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I don’t get to go to the beach very much as there is no science there.
kylecgiii: 😡 take care of yourself, okay?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Okay.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: When my grotesque corpse boyfriend is having sex with me I’ll try to pretend it’s you.
kylecgiii: you do sex with a dead?
kylecgiii: but, how do you do it….
kylecgiii: i can’t imagine..
kylecgiii: how can he do it?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: He is like an animal, his brain doesn’t work very well.
kylecgiii: am extremely confused….
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: My dad brought him back, remember?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Made out of parts.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: It’s his science.
kylecgiii: i presume.. you do all the hardwork…
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: No, he moves! He is not really alive but not quite dead.
kylecgiii: hmmmm… and you get aroused? (serious question)
kylecgiii: doing with him?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: No! I hate it!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I wanted sex to be beautiful and loving.
kylecgiii: hmmmm….its a brand new thing for me
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But instead it is grotesque and stinky.
kylecgiii: i can’t imagine…
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I wish my dad had never made me this parody of a boyfriend.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I know he meant well…
kylecgiii: you like it…?
kylecgiii: did you ever felt the ecstassy
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: No! I hate it! Are you stupid? Who would like having sex with a Frankenstein?
kylecgiii: i mean any sensation?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: It’s too disgusting to talk about.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: When he tries to kiss me it’s like being slobbered on by a retarded bulldog with a squid in its mouth.
kylecgiii: so…. what you do after that..since, you don’t like having sex with him…
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Then I usually lock him back up in his cell in the basement.
kylecgiii: what about you in your privacy… don’t you fantasize?
kylecgiii: i dunno why we are at this conversation but, you stirred my imagination…
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Are you attracted to me?
kylecgiii: like in your bed.. or in the bathroom…
kylecgiii: yes i am
kylecgiii: everything you’re saying affects me…
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Even though I’ve been despoiled by the penis of a corpse you are still attracted to me?
kylecgiii: but, will you believe me when i say …you’re affecting me?
kylecgiii: you understand what i mean?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I guess so…
kylecgiii: when i say …you’re huggable… you really are… and i really want to hug you
kylecgiii: tight
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So nice! When my gross boyfriend hugs me it’s like being squeezed between two slabs of cured pork.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I hate him!
kylecgiii: and inspite of what you’re telling me, i still look at you as a refine, nice and sweet, loving , young lady
kylecgiii: and i still feel that you are still a virgin… never been touched… the way you project yourself…
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But I have been touched! I have been ruined by the ravages of an ape-like dead-lover.
kylecgiii: the topics we had were inappropriate for you…
kylecgiii: my apology
kylecgiii: but, you never had the craving for sex…
kylecgiii: you never had orgasm..
kylecgiii: at 15, you never even had masturbated!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: My dad says masturbation is like letting all the air out of the tires of your bicycle.
kylecgiii: he is wrong…. its the ecstassy that you would like to do everytime… although your soul is all inside out..
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Um, okay.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: How’d my soul get inside out?
kylecgiii: am thinking that you’re still a virgin and you’re just making stories….
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I wish i was!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Why would I make this up? I hate it so much.
kylecgiii: haven’t you ever caressed yourself?
kylecgiii: while trying to imagine some fine boys?
kylecgiii: good body…muscles…handsome
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Are you like that?
kylecgiii: wearing sexy attire
kylecgiii: as brief with bulging thing?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But the only boy I have ever been with is my disgusting reanimated patchwork corpse boyfriend.
kylecgiii: i guess i am…
kylecgiii: have you ever while laying down….in your bed….
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I wish you had died and my dad had brought you back to life to be my boyfriend.
kylecgiii: touch your private parts…
kylecgiii: i mean your neck..
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: My neck is not very private.
kylecgiii: your tits….
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: This is a very weird conversation…
kylecgiii: you well defined breast
kylecgiii: yes i know,,
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I mean, here I am, trapped in a house with a crazy scientist father and a disgusting beast made out of reanimated corpses…
kylecgiii: while you’re touching yours
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And you’re trying to do what now?
kylecgiii: i mean….your getting under your panty and touching yours….imaging a real life love making
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: As opposed to a real dead love making?
kylecgiii: yeah…touching yours….up down
kylecgiii: gently
kylecgiii: i wish am there with you
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I know, let’s make a plan!
kylecgiii: what
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Can you visit your relative in San Diego?
kylecgiii: yeah…my cousin…anytime
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Okay, here’s what we’re going to do!
kylecgiii: i mean my only hindrance is my school
kylecgiii: but, i can always get a leave of absence
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: My dad won’t let you in the house because he is afraid for his science.
kylecgiii: when do you think is the best time for you?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So when you visit, you need to tell me beforehand.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And I will kill my dead boyfriend.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I will hit him over the head with a rubber mallet until he can no longer walk.
kylecgiii: so what shall we do…..i can be there on my christmas vacation
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Okay, so when you get here I will beat my dead boyfriend to double death.
kylecgiii: where can i see you…how can i call you
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I will give you a way to contact me once we have gone over the plan!
kylecgiii: okay…but, he is dead already
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You are going to need to find a way to get into my house.
kylecgiii: there’s no crime there
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And when this all works out I am going to kiss and hug you and all that!
kylecgiii: how far are you from the airport
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Like eight miles?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You should get a hotel room near my house.
kylecgiii: what hotel room can you recommend
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I don’t know, the Raddison? It’s not that important.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But when you kill yourself you’ll need to be taken to the downtown morgue because that’s where my dad goes.
kylecgiii: okay then….
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So I will get rid of the dead boyfriend and cry and make a big fuss over it…
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And I will get my dad to make me a new boyfriend for Christmas!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Do you see where I’m going with this?
kylecgiii: you need a real live boyfriend right?
kylecgiii: that’s what you need
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Right, I want you as my boyfriend!
kylecgiii: i can do it…believe me…am good at that…lol
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You will be the best boyfriend!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You go to your hotel room and slit your wrists and get taken to the hospital.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: This is the plan!
kylecgiii: i won’t do that….’coz, you need a living boyfriend… otherwise, you’ll not get into the 9th heaven
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Kyle, I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: My dad’s science is out of control.
kylecgiii: okay.okay
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: If he catches you he will give you to my dead boyfriend and I don’t know what he’ll do.
kylecgiii: so what do you want me to do… aside from killing myself
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: That is the only way i can think of that you can get inside my house to see me and be with me!
kylecgiii: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Do you get it?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: My dad can bring you back, mostly.
kylecgiii: that’s a sad, sad, sad ending
kylecgiii: never mind…. i won’t do that
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But I want to be with you!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I thought we were meant to be together!
kylecgiii: you need me alive… so you can have what you haven’t had before
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I wish i could!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But we need to compromise.