August

2006

39: Rap Against Terror

This one unfortunately never had enough time to really pick up steam, but this fellow’s overwhelming hatred of both hip-hop and the Taliban made for some amusing exchanges nonetheless.

a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I broke up with my boyfriend two weeks ago.
thel3igboss: that’s a shame, what happened there?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: He wanted to do things that I think are wrong.
thel3igboss: like?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: They are sort of weird and I don’t want to get in trouble
thel3igboss: what? drugs?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: No!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: He wanted to rob a gas station.
thel3igboss: Oh that’s just splendid …
thel3igboss: how old is he?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: 16
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: He really likes Eminem and stuff.
thel3igboss: bah
thel3igboss: weak
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: He can benchpress a lot of pounds!
thel3igboss: well, he’s weak minded I mean
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: What do you mean? He is a lot smarter than I am.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I am kind of dumb.
thel3igboss: well anyone who goes low enough to want to rob a bank isn’t smart at all
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: It wasn’t a bank, it was a gas station.
thel3igboss: I meant gas station
thel3igboss: sorry
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: A gas station is kind of like a bank for gas!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So that’s ok!
thel3igboss: yeah
thel3igboss: why would he want to do that anyway?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Because he wants to release a self-financed rap album.
thel3igboss: uh, then why doesn’t he get a job?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Because rappers don’t get jobs! Have you ever even listened to rap music?
thel3igboss: yup, both rappers and rap music are pathetic
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But I really liked him! And he had talent!
thel3igboss: Well, he needs to meet the right people and prove the talent; not rob a gas station to have an album produced that might not even go anywhere
thel3igboss: it’s all about connections — working forward … not crime.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Have you ever listened to rap music?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Rappers don’t rap about networking and handing out business cards.
thel3igboss: I know, it’s all about BLING BLING, cars and bitches
thel3igboss: the whole thing is old
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I was his bitch.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I was his bling bling.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I miss him.
thel3igboss: was he black?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: No!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I would never date a black guy!
thel3igboss: haha ok just making sure
thel3igboss: I wouldn’t date a black woman either
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Really?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Sometimes when we would make out he would ask me to pretend he was black
thel3igboss: pretend he had a 10 inch penis instead of a 2 inch one? haha
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: No, he’d ask me to act like he was a famous black rapper.
thel3igboss: eh … ok
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And he’d wear these big fake wax lips.
thel3igboss: haha ok, now it’s getting weird
thel3igboss: role playing and shit
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: He was very dedicated to rap!
thel3igboss: whatever, he’ll probably have a mediocre career with it
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I don’t know…
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: He probably already has a new bitch!
thel3igboss: such is the life of a rapper
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But I miss him!
thel3igboss: I don’t know
thel3igboss: he doesn’t sound like a winner to me. you’re a pretty girl, you’ll find someone else
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Somebody else who can rap as good as he does?
thel3igboss: No, someone who is above anything rap can offer
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I don’t understand.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I’m sorry.
thel3igboss: I’m saying you’ll find a guy out there who will respect you, but only if you can place yourself above this level that finding a guy who can rap well will be your next boyfriend.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But what if my old boyfriend comes back and rap battles my new boyfriend?
thel3igboss: you’re missing the point …
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I’m sorry.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I told you I was a dumb bitch!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: This ho ain’t no good!
thel3igboss: The point I’m making is that you can find a guy who will respect you, and that has other talents than RAPPING
thel3igboss: Forget RAP
thel3igboss: It’s not productive anyway
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But if I date some guy and he can’t rap and my old boyfriend comes back and rap battles him he’ll get destroyed!
thel3igboss: So maybe this new guy will OUTSMART him instead of OUT-RAPPING him
thel3igboss: Rap isn’t everything babe
thel3igboss: believe it or not
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: No, I know!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: There’s caring and loving and R&B
thel3igboss: Bah, R&B isn’t that much better
thel3igboss: But there’s actual singing involved so it’s OK
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So you’re saying I should get a new boyfriend who wants to be a r&b singer.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And rob a gas station with him?
thel3igboss: no
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I’m sorry, I’m not very smart.
thel3igboss: I’m saying wait for a guy who you can fall in love with, regardless of their talents.
thel3igboss: And one who doesn’t like rap and doesn’t want to rob a gas station
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Should I go hang around the gas station and wait for a guy to rob it and then marry him?
thel3igboss: no
thel3igboss: this isn’t going anywhere
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: OK, I guess.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I’m sorry I’m so stupid and lovesick.
thel3igboss: did you ever have something on Islam on your profile at some point? I think I remembered looking at it at one point
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I am interested in the study of Islamic religions.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: It’s the whole rap thing.
thel3igboss: Islam is responsible for 9/11 I hope you know …
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: How?
thel3igboss: The Terrorists were Islamic
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But they didn’t rap or anything!
thel3igboss: Let me put it this way, Islam doesn’t like America. Islam hates RAP music.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Really?
thel3igboss: sure
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But should I hate rap music too? you hate rap music, right?
thel3igboss: yes, rap music isn’t good
thel3igboss: you shouldn’t like it
thel3igboss: it won’t do you any good, having any relation to it
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But terrorists hate rap!
thel3igboss: same with Islam, they’re both shit
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And you hate rap.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Are you a terrorist?
thel3igboss: NO
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But you hate rap!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And freedom!
thel3igboss: no no no
thel3igboss: you’re missing the point
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: OK.
thel3igboss: rap comes from freedom of speech. Islam hates rap music because it’s related to FREEDOM OF SPEECH. I personally don’t like rap music because it’s my favorite style of music and I think it’s a bad influence
thel3igboss: I totally confused you before I apologize for that
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So terrorists hate rap not because it’s rap.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But because it’s freedom of speech?
thel3igboss: No terrorists don’t like freedom
thel3igboss: put it that way
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: OK.
thel3igboss: nothing else
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Do you like freedom?
thel3igboss: yes
thel3igboss: I love Freedom, I love America. I hate Islam, and I hate rap.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Was there a lot of freedom in those buildings in New York? Is that why they blew them up?
thel3igboss: yes
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: How much freedom?
thel3igboss: do you know what freedom is?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: It’s like money, right?
thel3igboss: no
thel3igboss: Wow … okay, seriously, don’t take any offense, but do you go to school?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: …no
thel3igboss: have you ever?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Oh, sure!
thel3igboss: where’s your mom at?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Dead
thel3igboss: that’s a shame, what happened?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: She was shot in a drive-by.
thel3igboss: for no reason?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Gang stuff.
thel3igboss: She wasn’t involved with a gang was she?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I don’t think so
thel3igboss: how old was she when she died?
thel3igboss: when did it happen?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Twelve years ago
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: She was wearing a Santa Claus suit and she wandered too far into Crip territory.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: My ex-boyfriend said he was going to write a rap about her!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I thought his rap would allow me to come to terms with my feelings.
thel3igboss: I gotta go for right now though, I’ll talk to you later