Soothing. Relaxing.
Is the pronunciation of "Squirrel" out loud really an important aspect?
Yes, although once pronunciation has been made, further repetition is not necessary.
Do you feel guilt or shame after this activity?
No.
Do you garner sexual pleasure from this activity?
No.
Has this activity led to sexual activity?
In the past, yes, but that is not the end goal.
What is the end goal of this activity?
Unknown at this time.
What is the largest amount of money you have paid for this activity?
Five dollars, later refunded.
Do you see a declining interest in this activity over time?
No. If anything, the opposite.
Have members of the same sex performed this activity?
Yes.
Was it similarily enjoyable compared to the performance of the activity by members of the opposite sex?
It was less enjoyable.
Why is that?
Poor technique.
If a member of the same sex with good technique performed this activity, would it be as enjoyable as opposite-sex activity?
Unknown. Suspected that it would not.
Why is that?
Latent homophobia.
What constitutes 'good technique'?
Enthiusiasm. Willingness to tousle hair with solid grip, pronounciation of "Squirrel" with no sarcastic or cruel undertones. Length of tousle is also supplementary, but a brief tousle can be just as satisfying as a lengthy one.
How many individuals have performed this activity upon you?
Approximately twenty.
And the longest period of activity?
Nearly an hour and a half.
What was the state of your hair after that period?
Very disorderly.
And your mental state?
Similar.
Were you happy before you discovered this activity?
Unknown.
Are you happy now?
Happier.