It's been two years today since I started this thing.
Four hundred and twenty-seven updates, by my admittedly
drunken late-night count. I thought, when I started
this thing, that when I eventually finished I'd be
able to look back at this like a faceted photograph
of myself, each update forming a tiny pixel of some
kind of 4-D rendering of myself, some way to fully
understand and encapsulate what I had been for the
last two years. And what, upon reading it all again,
sitting at the computer and drinking beer and spending
an evening traveling in time, have I learned? I learned
that you can dredge up a lot of old ground in two
years. I learned that some wounds never heal. I learned
that just because you think you can play guitar doesn't
mean you can. I learned that not having a job is like
having a job without the vending machines. I learned
that everybody's been somewhere that I've been. I
learned gray trainyards and vomit-soaked bars. I learned
that I'm going to have to work harder than I've ever
worked before if I'm going to not wind up a hideous
disappointment. I learned that being in love's easy
if you don't think about it too much. I learned that
blue type on a black background can carry you farther
than all the Flash animations in the world. I know
this sounds drunk and bad, but thank you. Thank you,
everybody who's ever written me a letter, even if
you just said you hate the color scheme or just wanted
to send me a picture of a roadkill squirrel. Literally,
that was sometimes the only thing keeping me going.
A lot of people have asked me why I do this every
day. I don't have an answer for that yet. Ask me in
another two years.
As
an addendum, these are some of my favorite updates,
for a variety of reasons. One from each month. I hope
you enjoy them. I'll see you tomorrow, but be warned,
I'm really wasted right now so tomorrow's update will
probably suck.
05/26/99
- Trip Log
06/14/99
- Squirrel Week
07/12/99
- Portrait of the author
08/24/99
- Recycled - Jenny
09/07/99
- Deodorant With Tits
10/18/99 - Behind
The Masks
11/09/99 - Hell
12/10/99
- Proudest Achievement
01/07/00 - Great
Falls
02/21/00 - 14
Year Old Girl Week: Only Poetry Stops Rape
03/03/00
- Recycled - Runaway
04/19/00 - Las
Vegas, A Sermon
05/30/00 - Male
Model
06/07/00 - Once
Again Drunken
07/21/00 - I
Am The Stupidest Man Alive
08/09/00 - Vegas
(Postscript)
09/06/00 - The
Ghost Of Emptiness
(Hiatus)
01/22/01
- Coconut Bob, The Cat-Shaving Lunatic
02/23/01
- 14 Year Old Girl Bonus Episode: Sperm In The Socket
03/12/01
- Haiku
04/04/01 - Top
Ten Things About The South
05/08/01 - Bridget
