So I crawled out of my bunker on Saturday hoping to see a radiation-destroyed wasteland crawling with pitiful scraps of humanity for me to shape into a new nation and what do I get instead? A bunch of hung-over peace hippies. Oh, was somebody just too wasted to riot? Too busy listening to Sting to build pipe bombs? That really pisses me the hell off. For the past six months I've been eating nothing but pizza and beer, not shaving or bathing, and completely ignoring everybody at my office because I knew it was all going to be over and it simply wasn't worth the effort anymore to not punch people in the face. And now what? I've got a whole lot of 'splaining to do, it seems. Either that, or you could all just go make the apocalypse happen right now, a few days late. Here, I'll put my hands over my eyes. Get to work. Give me a call when you've toppled civilization.